'I don't want him to be stuck with someone he doesn't care for': First-time pawrent faces feline rejection as her newly adopted kitten purrfers her roommate, leaving her second-guessing their furever match

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Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Jun 29, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Adopting a kitten for the first time is a real paws-and-claws adventure! This new pawrent hoped for a calm, older cat but instead got a bundle of fur and zoomies who seems to have a soft spot for the roommate, leaving them feeling a bit hissterical and guilty. Those nighttime zoomies have turned bedtime into a catastrophe, with both humans running on empty despite all the playtime to wear out their little furball. It's a classic kitten vs. exhausted hooman showdown! With the roommate moving out soon, there's some feline worry about the little fluff being left in the lurch.

Here's the catch: adopting is a journey full of purrs and hiccups. Kittens especially need time, patience, and plenty of toy-chasing to settle their paws at home. It's totally normal for them to bond differently with their hoomans at first. This pawrent's heart is in the right place, and that's what really matters! With some extra play and patience, peace will purrsist, and those zoomies will eventually turn into peaceful naps instead!

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  • 01
    'I just feel really guilty about having my kitten, even though I think he's such a sweetheart'
    via Leo Malsam / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Hi everyone, I honestly wish that I didn't feel this way because I've been wanting a cat for so long as a first- time cat owner. I just adopted a kitten a few days ago, and I've been feeling like I regret it, mostly because I feel like he likes my roommate more than me, and I've been feeling overwhelmed with a feeling of lack of independence and his energy levels at night.
    via HistoricalLeaf
  • 03
    When I adopted him, I went to the shelter with my roommate since she had cats growing up, and I thought I could get some good advice from her. It was a toss-up between my current kitten and an older cat, but after asking the staff about the older cat, they said he'd do better as an indoors-outdoors
    via HistoricalLeaf
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10523187712
    via Cynthia Johnson / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    cat, and I couldn't give him that lifestyle as we live in a 3rd-story apartment. I really wanted an older cat when I went to the shelter, but none of them seemed interested in me or my roommate very much.
    via HistoricalLeaf
  • 06
    As for my kitten, I thought that maybe he liked me because he sat on my lap and purred till he fell asleep, but he's been more affectionate with my roommate, and I feel really sad about it. Both she and I are getting to our wits' end about his energy levels throughout the night, and we are lacking sleep because of it. We try our best to wear him out before nighttime, but he never seems to run out of energy.
    via HistoricalLeaf
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10523205376
    via Dali Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    I feel terrible that I feel this way, especially since he's such a sweet and adorable cat, besides all that. I talked to my boyfriend about it, and he told me to wait and see, but I just feel really guilty about having my kitten, even though I think he's such a sweetheart. Especially since my roommate will be moving out in 3 months, I don't want him to be stuck with someone he doesn't care for.
    via HistoricalLeaf
  • 09
    If anyone can give their input about this and some tips to help with nighttime kitten zoomies, that would be great.
    via HistoricalLeaf
  • 10
    RockDesk The energy will calm down! Kittens are absolutely crazy. Get lots of toys and make sure he's getting lots of exercise while you're awake. Is it possible to keep him in a separate room for sleeping?
    via RockDesk
  • 11
    In relation to it being more affectionate to your friend, that could be something as simple as your friend giving off more confidence as she has experience with cats.
    via RockDesk
  • 12
    Sit on the floor and play with the kitten. Try and make sure you're the one that's consistently feeding it. You can get "starter pack" toys on Amazon that aren't too expensive. My kitten went, and still goes, crazy for plastic springs. No idea why, but she loves them.
    via RockDesk

  • Kittens take time to bond! Some extra play sessions, treats, and gentle cuddles will go a long way. Before you know it, you’ll be their favorite hooman.

  • 13
    SarutaValentine2 I've had many cats in my life and I've always had that 'geez maybe I should give them back' moment and I really do think it's perfectly normal! Especially with a little one with WAY too much energy and the ability to get into
    via SarutaValentine2
  • 14
    ANYTHING. Give yourself more time, I'm sure you'll fall in love. It's okay to feel this way. It could really just be your reaction to lacking sleep. Don't be too hard on yourself
    via SarutaValentine2

  • Lack of sleep definitely makes everything feel harder. Kitten energy can be overwhelming! But if you stick it out until they mellow out, it’s so worth it in the long run.

  • 15
    Seraphine003 He will grow out of it soon!!! You're almost there!!! When he is about 8 months old he is gonna go through a teenager phase where he doesn't want cuddles and wants to be more independent. They level out at about 1 years old and will
    via Seraphine003
  • 16
    act more like an adult cat. Just keep giving him lots of exercise throughout the day, and try setting up quiet activities for him to do at night (a non crinkly food puzzle in another room, a new toy, hide a treat somewhere for him to find, tie a piece of string somewhere
    via Seraphine003
  • 17
    he can't quite reach (with nothing breakable around)). Something else that might help is taking him on walks. He might just need new sights and sounds!!! In any case, you'll be feeling so much better in a few months :) you got this :)
    via Seraphine003
  • 18
    notleviosaaaaa i love my kitten and i wanted to give her back too in the first few days. kitten blues are normal. give her some time to get used to you, and give yourself some time too.
    via notleviosaaaaa
  • 19
    Catmomkayla I've regretted adopting 3 out of 4 of my cats for the first week to month. But then I absolutely love them after that transition period. It's just a big change for yourself and the cat. They are in a totally different environment and need time to figure everything out. Plus this is your first time owning a kitten. Just take your time. Give it a month at least
    via Catmomkayla

  • You’re both still adjusting. Give it at least a month to settle in. It takes time to build trust and a bond, but you might be surprised how things turn around!

  • 20
    Out... Well first thing is that many cats are not going to show you their true personality while in a cage in a shelter environment. Secondly even after they are home it will take them time to decompress, adjust and bond. Pls read up on the 3:3:3 rule for dogs and cats,
    via Outrageous-Rock-8558
  • 21
    it applies to your kitten as well. Thirdly, and probably most importantly in your case it's almost always 99.9% of the time better to adopt two kittens together instead of one. Read up on single kitten syndrome. This will also help greatly put pressure off of you to be a contstant playmate and distraction, and
    via Outrageous-Rock-8558
  • 22
    will likely help his energy levels at night as he will have another kitten to play and zoom around with. Either way a few days is way to soon to say that the kitten doesn't like you, hasn't bonded etc. you both need time to adjust. But my take, go adopt another kitten around the same age. Two are easier/better than one
    via Outrageous-Rock-8558

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adoption pets kitten advice cat owners pawrents roommates Cats regret
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